


I really wish I hated you.

by Pwyllxiety



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, uuuuuh pretty fkin gay, whoopsies, wrote when I was sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pwyllxiety/pseuds/Pwyllxiety
Summary: Happy sixteenth, Craig sweetie. By the way, I’m breaking up with you.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Tweek Tweak, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak [Past], Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 61





	I really wish I hated you.

**Author's Note:**

> So I watch the Hamilfilm on disney, not related but it made me sad enough to write angst

His sixteenth birthday, of all the days to do it, it was his sixteenth birthday- Tweek breaks up with him, tells him after six years that it’s not working out, tells him after six years of calming down Tweek’s panic attacks and trying to get him to kick his caffeine addiction, that’s when he cuts him off.

He doesn’t stutter once through the entire monologue, which upsets Craig even more, Tweek had come so far- so far that he didn’t need Craig anymore, and left him in the dust of anguish. Tweek doesn’t even notice his now ex’s teary gaze, before Craig turns and flees, wanting to be as far away from him as he can get.

_Happy sixteenth, Craig sweetie. By the way, I’m breaking up with you._

It’s lonely after that, his cold hands long for the warmth that once embraced them; his cold heart longs for the compliments that lit a spark every time; his aching mind longs for the comfortable silences the two used to share. The end of January seems icier than usual, but Craig knows it’s not the weather.

At home his parent’s wish him a happy birthday, and he has his first driving lesson, but he can’t focus.

February comes too soon, and Craig’s still empty- alone at night in his room, lungs shuddering, eyes damp. He fucking hates it, he hates opening up to Tweek, he hates being gay. It all comes down from there, and he wants to die.

It’s the fourteenth of February and Craig pretends to be sick; he doesn’t want to go to school, he doesn’t want to see Tweek, he lays in his bed crying and nobody cares- nobody even texts to ask if he’s okay. Because he’s a loner and his friends took Tweek’s side. Craig still doesn’t know what he did wrong.

He opens snapchat at about midday and he finds out why- the real reason him and Tweek broke up, Clyde-

_Happy one month anniversary babe!_

One month? The fourteenth of January? Him and Tweek were still… It was a lie.

His heart’s pounding in his chest, Tweek had lied, Tweek was dating Clyde before they broke up. A new wave of hot, angry, tears starts, and he just deletes snapchat from his phone. Nobody cares about him anyway.

He wishes he could hate Tweek so much, but he still feels nothing but love for the small blonde, and it kills him inside. He pulls at his hair and yells out of pure frustration and spends the night awake- staring at his bedroom wall.

He leaves home the next morning, but he doesn’t go towards the bus stop- instead he heads towards the river. He stands at the water’s edge and pulls out his phone. He opens twitter and composes a single tweet.

_I don’t really like myself without you._

He throws his phone into the water and it disappears under the surface.

He turns away and heads back towards his house, the last twitter suicides had been Heidi and Eric all those years ago, but they’d come back from that, Craig wouldn’t, Craig couldn’t come back from it.

He unlocks the front door and heads back upstairs.

He lays on his bed, staring up at his ceiling, several hundred glow in the dark stars are peeling free, and Craig snorts at the strangely apt metaphor, his sky was falling. He’d often wondered if he’d end up here if he hadn’t been so apathetic, maybe he should’ve told Tweek how he felt more often, maybe he should’ve been nicer to others, maybe if he was less of a prick to them- Cartman’s gang would like him.

It was no point pondering the what ifs now, in the fallout of the bad ending, the worst outcome for him. His black hair hangs over his eyes in curtains, and he fiddles with the drawstrings on his hoodie.

The next morning comes far too quickly for his liking, and he figures he should probably go to school, for the first time this week. Tossing today’s clothing onto the bed in a pile; Black jeans, no rips; white shirt, NASA logo; Denim jacket, dark blue, a few badges.

After dressing and pulling on mismatched socks he grabs his vans from the floor and pulls them on, before flinging his backpack over his shoulder and fishing out his old iPod nano, with his phone gone he could at least listen to music at lunch. With that he leaves the house energy drink in hand and heads towards the bus stop.

He scowls into his drink when other people arrive at the bus stop, thumbing up the volume on his mp3 a little higher. He sees Clyde’s red letterman jacket flash past him, and he has to hold back a punch. Instead clenching his empty fist so tightly it had hurt. From somewhere in the real world, outside his thoughts he thinks he hears Jimmy tell a joke. He doesn’t laugh though, because the jokes aren’t for him anymore, in fact, Craig wouldn’t be surprised if the jokes were at his expense.

When the bus arrives, he shoves his bag down on the seat next to him, and glares at anyone who attempts to sit there. The bus ride is uneventful until someone hocks an apple core at the back of his head, but he refuses to react- choosing to pretend the entire event didn’t happen. The bus finally parks up outside of school some ten minutes later and he pushes through the scuffle of people to get off quickly.

He removes his headphones fluidly as he speed-walks towards his homeroom, ready to tell the teacher some half-hearted lie about a stomach bug. He pushes the door gently and his eyes scan the room, only to land upon the other student in the room, and he regrets getting up that morning all over again. Tweek is sat at his regular desk with a thermos of coffee and a smile. It makes Craig’s heart flutter and then hit the floor when he remembers that Tweek isn’t his anymore, and he turns around and walks away. Away from the classroom and towards the gymnasium.

Once he’s there he throws his bag and then, essentially throws himself under the bleachers. There’s nobody here to see him act like this and he lets his guard drop. He’s still there at the start of period one when the gym is in use and he hears Kenny of all people ask if any of the other boys had heard from Craig.

He hears Kyle say he’d been on the bus this morning and must’ve been at school somewhere. About twenty minutes later a ball rolls under the bleachers in his direction and he sees Kenny chasing after it, they lock eyes and Kenny just silently signals that he’ll come back later and Craig is stunned, Kenny grabs the ball and heads back out to Kyle and Stan.

At recess an hour and a half later, Kenny appears like an angel, illuminated from the back by the lights of the gym and crawls under the benches, his orange jacket tied round his waist, revealing his not often seen blonde hair.

He gives Craig a toothy grin and settles beside him.

“Are you-” he hesitates clearly thinking before he speaks.

“-Okay? I heard what happened on your birthday.” He continues.

Craig nods meekly, like he’s not really sure if he’s okay and he can tell Kenny doesn’t buy it. He gives Craig a concerned look and Craig waves his hand in dismissal.

“Tweek was a no-good dick anyway, he was shagging Clyde before we broke up.” Craig stated, his eyes drifting away from Kenny.

“Unbelievable, that cunt.” Kenny sighs and Craig turns back to him, taking him in with all his glory; Scruffy blue jeans, which looked slightly too big; a baggy black t-shirt; his orange jacket that had replaced his old parka; thrifted doc martens.

Craig lowers his head softly onto Kenny’s shoulder and the shorter boy doesn’t say anything, they remain in peace until Kenny shuffles.

“You know what would be good fun?” He asks and Craig sits upright, before quirking his head.

Kenny reaches his hand out and Craig hesitantly takes it, still not sure what’s going on. He leads them away from the bleachers and the Gym, towards their third period lesson, still holding hands Kenny marches them until they are in font of Tweek and Clyde, and he glares at them before turning towards Craig, silently apologising for what’s about to happen.

It all happens too suddenly for Craig to process but Kenny’s lips are on his and he doesn’t even think before kissing back, not even sure what was happening, Kenny pulls away and Craig looks up in shock before glancing at his ex. Tweek looked just as shocked as Craig felt as Kenny pulled him away and started apologising profusely.

Nobody was shocked when him and Craig got together after that.


End file.
